My Dad

Kirk Madison Hale

Born 1949
First of 11 children (5 brothers, 5 sisters)
His siblings are(in order of appearance): Kirk Madison, Jack, Christopher, George, Joel Craig, Jeanine Marcel, Robin Renee, Vivian Lovelace, Holly Sancerae, Courtessa Ann, and Mathew.

My dad is difficult to write about. It's like reading a historical mystery novel. He is a character that the reader leans in to watch, and watching provokes reaction, and reaction...leads..well it just always leads to something, usually trouble. There is mystery, drama, action, suspense and great dialogue. He gets bored and likes to mess with people.. wake 'em up so to speak. :-) That and he likes to blow things up.
I think Dad is basically neo-traditional. I see him as stoic, intelligent, clever, resourceful, practical, observative- house chores are for women. He doesn't think women should be heard doing anything so unlady-like as burping but it's okay to gun them down in paintball. Go figure. He's cool, loves his Guinness and Irish folk music, builds civil war cannons and is a leading member in the Landis Artillery Battery C.S.A. , a civil war reenactment group. He maintains the cannons and produces the rounds of ammunition, building everything from scratch including smithing his own fittings. This is his greatest and most recent past time obsession. I have to say, he's good at it. Damn good.
He went to Vietnam when he was 18. He worked at the downtown airport as an air traffic controller until his recent retirement. He is also a pilot. A great sport and up for a bit O' challenge and danger. He taught me and my brothers to technical climb from a young age. I think I was 8. Lots of camping trips, lemon heads and liquorice while hiking in the mountains of Colorado. Loved it, want more, am proud to have survived :-).

I Love my Dad. He makes me think and helps me build things.

He can make anything. My childhood was bathed in calamine lotion and healing creams from the fun we had making and testing various rides dad built for us in the back yard (a popular hotbed for poison ivy). We had a zip line, a hand welded sit and push merry-go-round, a tree house and jungle gym. Mini-bikes and Go-carts, hair spray driven tennis ball cannons and paintball kits. So cool- 25 cents for donation to the huge CO2 tank dad bought to refill the air cartridges for our paint guns. He had BOXES of different paint ball rounds manufactured from different places so we could test ourselves which were most accurate. Clever and fun :-)
Here we are (Mom is taking the picture), at Crestview park, the favorite place to test mini bikes, go-carts and model planes. It is the elementary school dad and siblings went to when they were little, and only a short walk from Grandma Hale's.

Dad helped me construct many an art project and encouraged me not to let difficulties detour me from taking on a huge project. Admittedly some got the best of me and lie, to date, unfinished. We all have our weaknesses.

I was never good with the machines either. I'm too aware of my mortality, i.e. nervous. I wanted to be otherwise, seeing the brothers excel with motor vehicles and mechanics but that's how it goes. I wanted to live and keep all my fingers and toes. He could wire electronics, woodwork, explosives, metalwork, build a car, build a house if he wanted. The pitfall to his talent is stubbornness. If he doesn't feel like working on it that day, no matter the urgency, forget it. It's on the list of retirement rules ;-). Requests are taken seemingly at random, much to mothers frustration.
So I present to you, if only the tip of the iceberg, My Dad. My Pops.
Love ya Dad. :-) XOXOXO

My Mom

Jo-Ann Cecilia Hale
Born 1950, second of 5 children. Her siblings are(in order of appearance- i think): Paulette, (Jo-Anne), James, Alby and Lewis.

She is an amazing teacher

bettered only by also being an amazing mom. I love my mom. I could go on for hours about her. I am so proud to to have grown up under her eyes.

She teaches children with learning disabilities and behaviour disorders. She works with a very ethnic group of kids, a wide range of physical and mental challenges that keeps her planning up

to 9 separate lesson plans that she pulls from her huge and ever growing library to cater to these children. She loves teaching. It's the B.S and P.R. that drains her.

She is a great person to learn from, taking me and my brothers to the museums, parks and natural conservation centers when we were growing up. I really could go on for hours. ;-)

So mom is an artist too. Surprise. She majored in Fine Art. Is great in charcoal and acrylic, pencil and oil painting.

Sewing!

I had a life size (5 yr. old) Raggedy Ann doll that was awesome. So awesome I never let her finish the hair. That was the coolest doll.

You should know that my mom is a great sport. She has a good sense of humor and likes to dance, talk and laugh. She is however, a bit quiet on the surface. I love you mom. Don't disown me.

She took ballet for 8 years.

She is a petite woman.

Her father was half French.

She makes lace by hand, canes chairs, weaves baskets, spins her own wool and has too little time for herself.

She loves her children.

I can't wait to see you mom. XOXOXO

Loves

The Church. Take two.

One Sunday, recently, (well, more like, November 17th) we drove up to Silkeborg to visit Søren's mom Dorthe and his best friends Helle and Muhammad who have connections to, seemingly, the entire town and to run a few errands.

This time we got into the church! We were so hungry for photos we went twice. I had to get some inspiring video of the interior as I wanted to share it with y'all that can't be in Denmark for that day.

It was perfect timing that we stepped into the church as the organ player was warming up for a confirmation class. It was early in the day so the light was very balanced- both warm from electric light and brightened from the natural light coming in through the small windows. It was so lovely and personal. It took me by surprise though that the "runway" is an L shape rather than a straight shot. A shorter walk for sure. Dum dum da dum -*hang a ralf!

I could tell that Deege was getting excited (maybe it was anxiety I detected- hard to tell in this situation). He pointed his camera at just about everything in there and when he was satisfied with what he got, he walked up to the spot we would be standing in the not so distant future and turned back to me with a nervous smile. He waited there until I understood he wanted me to join him on The Spot. We stood side by side with our arm around each other and peered over our shoulder at the invisible crowd. It didn't seem so bad. Though I'm sure it will be different on the day when we can see everyone's faces, up close and personal.

It was an enjoyable visit. I think it was the calmest part of our day being in there. See how it looked on that grey day in November. Imagine how beautiful it will be in the beginning of summer!

Hugs and Love from Denmark XOXOXO

*"Hang a Ralf" means to take a right turn. "Hang a Louie" means take a left turn.

Mom In-law

Dorthe Dalgaard Johansen was born 14 September 1941.

She worked as a translator in English, French and German for BP Gas.

This is my new Mom-in law. She is a wonderful, intelligent and kind woman that I am thrilled to be related to. She has a quiet gracefulness in her that lends to her charm and openness. She welcomed me into her home long before Søren and I were involved. Always making the rooms a little warmer when I visit, a pot of coffee to talk over and news about the landscape. Deer eating the flowers is a sign of summer; When the heather is finished blooming, Fall has arrived.

Dorthe lives at Thorsø where her father built the first part of the house, then used as a summer home, from salvaged materials after WWII; Everything from floorboards to the nails in the walls. The summer home stayed in the family after his passing and an addition to the house was built on in 1990, when the family decided to move into the expanded summer home as their residence year round. The property goes right to the lake and has a beautiful view from the back porch where summer breakfasts are held. It is where Søren and I want to hold our reception. It is a

very special place to me though I have such a short history with it. Dorthe is in her element at this beautiful place in the world...

AND She just so happens to the best petanque player around them parts.

She has won the annual championships 4 times in the last 7 years and she is running out of wall space ;-). The summertime brings a great number of her friends back into town and the nights are filled with games and wine and laughter for months.

My Father In-Law

I am compelled to mention how aware I am of the difficulty in writing about loved ones past, especially when it's your father in-law. With that same honesty I have to share what little I know, though I do see him a little every day.

Early on in the apartment renovation, Søren had shown me black and white photos of his family, grandparents, and his father through many decades. I recall wavy hair and manicured moustache, broad shoulders and a benevolent smirk. WHAT a movie star he is. The stories and photos shared describe him with a twinkle in the eyes, primarily because the lights are on.

Niels Christian Johansen 1926 - 1991
Born 5 of August (The day Søren proposed to me)

N.C. worked for ØK, or East Asiatic Company as Chief Engineer on many ships, the largest being Malacca and Morelia, 20,400 horsepower, 213 meters long. He has been to, um... every port on the map apparently, so let's not waste space and span (attention!) on geography lessons (see: Denmark, A bit About).

Because of his fathers work, Søren has many nostalgic memories of the sounds of pistons and smell of engine oil. As a small child growing up on these enormous vessels, Søren was penned in on a deck or area, though more often it was to keep him from falling overboard as opposed to down a flight of stairs, and as a result, much like his predecessors, he loves sailing, being near water and has a great love of nature.

Those with an curiosity for history will be interested to know that Charles Johansen (born 1898) sailed a cargo ship during WWII and partook in smuggling Jews out of Denmark into Sweden. In his late teens, Niels Christian worked for the resistance during the German occupation of Denmark. Both he (in his adult years) and his Father were Chief Engineers by profession.

How cool is that? The men in this family are real gentlemen and have a strong sense of right. I see how Søren is with me and I know the lessons he learned from his parents stem from those principals. Gentle, patient, forgiving, diplomatic in vocabulary, broad viewed, open minded, protection of the weak and the list goes on... The sort of fellas you would invite to your round table.

When the time comes for children, Søren and I both wish that our first boy will bear his fathers name. In spirit he remains a part of our past, our present and with luck, our future.

Hugs and Love

xoxoxoxoxox

The Groom

It's about time! Right? Don't think I can't hear y'all ;-)Søren's Godmother, Paula, was over last night for dinner and pointed out that there were some very obvious topics missing on this little blog; i.e.

The Groom, Mom-in-law, immediate family on both sides and with a knowing glance, perhaps an entry on godmothers wouldn't go astray either. Darling charming woman you will all get to meet in upcoming entries, but first is first! (I will be careful with the sugar)

My Fiancé:

Søren Dalgaard Johansen

Born March 9th 1969

6 foot 4 inches (195cm)

Light blue eyes

Hobbies include: Watercolor painting, photography, sailing, Danish naval history, nature

Disposition: Observative, Intelligent, Soft spoken, Strong principals, Man of his word, Kind, Thinks deeply before acting, Strong, Compassionate, Honest, and Sincere. Drinks PepsiMax like water.

We have known OF each other for about 8 years.

It's only in this last year that we made a real connection. He and I have worked for the same company, Araneum, later bought by T.E. and even later bought by Sirius IT where he works now. At Araneum and T.E. we had mutual respect and delight in working together until my departure from the company 2 years ago. In the beginning years at Araneum he sported a well trimmed upper lip caterpillar and suit, of which I have no recollection at all, so I snooped for some photos to see what I had missed. See for yourself. Now both have been discarded for a more comfortable daily routine, so seeing him in that tuxedo with tails is gonna be quite an experience for me. I'm not missing the lip fuzz ;-)

One day in August he and I made plans to go sailing on his boat. I had just started at Nordisk

Film 3 months previous. He picked me up at the gates. In my mind the world was in slow motion. Life for me at the time was difficult. My remaining in Denmark was precarious both emotionally and legally. My reason for coming to the country twisted in my heart everyday with the increasing anxiety that my lease would not be renewed, giving me 1 month to find a new place to stay for the 3rd time in as many years. Heart-broken and homesick, I walked across the drive and up to his car where he sat smiling, watching patiently.

Needless to say it went well. It was my first time out on a sailboat and I loved it. Trust and

openness were immediate and ever present with us. Throughout the next month he helped me look over papers and contracts to secure a new apartment, and throughout the year he helped everyday in making it a home. Never dipping even a toe into the waters of romance with me. Solid supporting friend- unconditional. He has been with me everyday since I moved in, October 1st 2006. He let me take my time and never pushed, never asked for more, always listening, always up for a project or a photo shoot, encouraging, supportive. It feels natural and wonderful to be together. I'm so grateful to have his love and affection, along with all his other shining facets, in my life.

I'm slow but I get there. It took me a long time before I saw what was right in front of me. It

took a short time to trust my eyes and heart once they opened.

Partners for life.

Tick Tock Big Clock

Time is flying by so fast but there doesn't seem to be much progress on the wedding project lately. I have been wanting to write about an accomplishment, a great decision taken or reservation made... but no, nothing to cross off the list. All talk and questions still.

I think I turned a couple of shades of pink when I heard from Søren and my Mom that I have an attentive audience. *gulp* And I can't even see y'all there staring- I'm just talking to myself out loud. Thank Gawd I don't have to make a speech (Sorry Søren). I know the Bride CAN if she wishes, but with sweaty palms and knees shaking, I'll pass thanks- I'm crossing my fingers I can get down the aisle without tripping or staring zombie-eyed, stiff and straight ahead in concentration. I've been warned about crying unexpectedly and being stared at. I think if I take the zombie approach I won't be in too much danger there. Who knows, maybe by the time the date rolls around I will have a more calm and carefree view of the whole thing. HAHAHAHAHA!

Manic laughter is never a good sign. Get warmed up on the nervous highlights to come:

Best man speech
It takes some thought and preparation but a few notes, jokes, and jabs seem to please the crowd.

First Dance-Danish
Yes, it is a nervous affair here in Denmark. Song and dance are set by tradition. The Bride and Groom do the waltz while the guests clap and close in on the couple until they cant move- released from the crowds grip only after the newlyweds kiss. Luckily there won't be hundreds of guests attending as shown in the video of the Royal wedding.

First Dance- U.S.
It's a little different in the U.S. We just pick out a song that means something to us or that we have fun with. I guess if people are gonna be watching it's worth giving them something good to witness.

Cutting the cake
In my mind I want a food fight. I will behave, but now you know what I'm thinking in that moment ;-)

Bouquet toss
Now most bouquet tosses are enthusiastic and there might even be a little "fighting" for the catch which is a good laugh for all. The single women are suppose to want to be next in line for the big ceremony and if deep down they really don't, well, they have a lovely souvenir from the evening. I think the worst that can happen is.. well, nothing.

The Garter Toss
is more of a north American tradition but we are considering bringing it to Denmark this May.

The Ring

This is the coolest ring! I love it. Søren bought it on Lauritz, an online auction service (I used the online photos for the top image). I picked it out, but wasn't entirely informed what I was choosing it for. Its main feature is a teardrop blue diamond, alongside a string of 3 I-Love-You diamonds set in white gold. The blue matches Søren's eyes exactly. It's startling and beautiful, I know. :-)

The Church

This is the place we decided to hold the ceremony. We sent a request and were allotted the perfect time of 3:00 in the afternoon on May 31st- the very date I wanted. Not a June bride but getting the benefits of the weather for that time of year (I hope). I love May.

This little church has a long history. Here comes the schpeel.

Situated in Silkeborg, in the middle of Jutland, a 300 kilometer drive from Copenhagen.

Originally, the ashlar church with vaulted arches consisted of a nave and alter. It was built onto at the end of the middle ages in 1494 with a Gothic-style porch for storing weapons before entering the church. In 1703 over the west gable a small clock tower was erected to replace the earlier, now dilapidated, tower. The new tower was restored in 1776. The church bell is one of the oldest in Denmark and dates from 1250. The alter piece dates from c.1650.

I have no connection to any denomination or congregation so I leaned on Søren for a meaningful location to take our vows. Søren attended service and was confirmed here as a teen and when I saw it from the outside on our first drive by I thought, It's a cute little place with a cosy atmosphere, how wonderfully charming! Oddly enough most churches are not open on Sunday, including this one, so when we went to check it out it was locked up tight to our great and continuing disappointment. Hrumph. Next time.

The Dress

The dress hunt has been going on for a while now and still I'm only in phase one. I feel I have educated myself, albeit exclusively in the category I can't afford, I still retain a feeling of accomplishment and preparedness for my efforts. Entirely online, granted- a few emails exchanged. One dress is all I have physically had contact with and it was hideous in an educating sort of way. So points to the category of dresses I need not bother. Only 99 left eh? I don't know, I suppose you could pick a greater or lesser number but I'm shooting for under double digits. I love/hate shopping. It's like that, split personality. I like low impact shopping. Let me wander, don't bug me. I'm particular.

So, the dress is ivory. It can be a warm ivory. Not pink. I like the lines in the dresses above. Fairly natural waist, long skirt- but not a trail, delicate straps, simple and elegant embellishments. Above all, flattering. I don't actually know if it suits me, but that phase 2. Here we go. Wish me good hunting.